Public blog

I just wanted everyone to know that I've removed all the posts by everyone but me and made this blog public in hopes that maybe it'll help someone else understand how people in pain feel.

No I can't!

I was going to start a new thread, but then decided to just put it here.... I saw something (again) in arthritis magazine when we were at the docs office that really set me off again. It upsets me so much when I read or hear stories that say, "I have RA (or whatever chronic pain condition it is) but I did such and such and so can you, because you don't have to let the pain control your life." It makes me want to scream and slap the person who said/wrote it! No, that's not true....it actually makes me wish I could beat them to a pulp! Why? Because they make it sound like people like me:

• are wimps when it comes to pain (and I most certainly am not!) or
• are just plain lazy (again, I'm far from that!) or that maybe
• that we like all the attention we get by being in pain (what attention????), or
• they're not really trying or not trying hard enough, etc.

None of which is true!

The lady in the magazine with RA was running 5 miles a day "even though she was in pain". Good for her! I'm happy for her. But, she didn't have to say that anyone could do it if they wanted to because that's simply NOT TRUE!!!!

I've TRIED! Really tried! For over 3 years I tried specifically to increase my strength, endurance and abilities. Back then I could actually walk fairly quickly for a half hour a day on a flat surface. Now, after those three or more years of trying to increase everything, if I'm careful and hold onto a cart, I can walk for maybe 10 minutes when I'm at my very best. After that the pain keeps building until within another 5 minutes I can barely stand up. It's difficult for me to stand up long enough to cook Bruce's supper in the evening or do the dishes. If I tried to "run", I would literally be on the ground in excruciating pain within about 2 minutes, and no amount of trying would enable me to increase the time or distance I could go. Not to mention that my "run" wouldn't amount to much more then a weird looking walk at this point. (yeah, I tried it like an idiot)

They say they write those kind of stories to encourage us, but they're not thinking it through. They can't rely on an editor to spot the errors because 99 times out of 100, the editor won't know a thing about living with pain. All they know is grammar etc. If they're going to write a story like that though they need to make it very, very plain from the very start and again at the middle and again at the end, that there are many pain patients out there that simply cannot do any more then they already are. Not just for the personal sake of those like me that can't do more, but also for non pain patients that read stuff like that and then look at people like me and think that we're just lazy, faking it, enjoying the attention, etc.

Instead of helping people they're hurting a great number of us! And I'm sorry, but I'm really tired of it. It's hard enough to get our families, friends and acquaintances to understand our limitations, without having to then turn around and deal with something like that.

Not to mention our own personal emotional health. I suspect we all question ourselves. At least I always have. I've always questioned, "am I doing all I can do?", "Could I possibly do more?", "Is there something I could do differently that would help me?", "Do I really, really need these narcotics, or could I possibly get along without them?", "Am I just kidding myself?" "Maybe I really do want attention and am doing this because of it and just don't realize it...?"

You know what the result of all those questions have always been? That I always wind up doing way too much and being in a whole bunch more pain then I would have been if I hadn't.

I honestly believe that every single one of us does our very best to be all we can be, and do all we can even though we have to deal with this pain. It's like I told my kids recently in a letter I wrote them explaining to them what my limitations are, I don't let the pain rule my life, but I do have to deal with the pain and make concessions because of it, because it's a reality in my life, whether I like it or not.

Everyone is a little different. We have different thresholds of pain for instance. That doesn't mean that one of us is in less or more pain then another one. All that means is that it takes less to cause one of us to be at a level "9" then others, but we're both at a level "9", so both feeling the same kind of pain.

We may have pain in different places and/or for different reasons, and that can make a huge difference in what we can or cannot do physically. It's not really a matter of "how many things we have wrong with us" because over time, a pain patient generally gathers a list of diagnosis's a mile long, but rather how they affect us, and that can be different for us each. Just like the lady with RA who wrote the article that got me upset. Yes, we both have RA, but she either has very little knowledge of what RA is and how differently it affects people, or else, regardless of what she says, she has a very mild case of it.

It's not a matter of how much pain we can "stand" before we have to stop either. There comes a point when pain isn't the only issue anymore; Our bodies are not in pain for no reason, so when they get to a certain point, and the person refuses to stop regardless of how much pain they're in, their body begins to do whatever's needed to stop them. They may fall or pass out or whatever. After all this time, I know what my limits are. I'm way too stubborn to abide by them because if I did, I literally would be unable to do anything at all, so I continue to push myself. BUT, only to a point, because I've learned what happens when I go further then that.

I would never tell someone that lived with pain that they were letting their pain rule their lives or whatever, just because they couldn't pour their own cup of coffee, much less run 5 miles a day! Nor would I suggest that if they just tried harder that they'd be able to do more. Instead, I'd assume that they were doing their very best already. To me, saying those kind of things is every bit as bad as telling someone that they'd be healed if they just had more faith.

Sorry, I just had to get that off my mind. It really upset me.

Feeling real groggy at times? Sinus problems? Stomach problems? Look what I found out!

I couldn't believe what I found out about this med and have to share it with you all.  First, some background though.  I've been having a LOT of trouble with my sinuses sine last November. I've had sinus problems all my life, but this was worse then anything I'd had before and I couldn't understand why.  I'd recently finished taking 20 days worth of antibiotics to try and clear up what even the doctors assumed was a sinus infection as they didn't want it to go into my lungs.  The antibiotics really messed up my stomach which wasn't the greatest anyway.  Well, after I stopped taking the antibiotics, I figured my tummy would start to get better, and it did, but some days it would get really bad again instead of steadily improving like it should have.  I finally decided that I'd better check my meds because something had to be causing this problem with my stomach.  

The only one I'd been taking recently that I normally don't, was Ambien (zolpidem).  It's a sleeping pill and I was taking it because due to all the storms here I'd been having to take morphine late in the day and that keeps me from going to sleep at night.

Well, lo and behold, it was the Ambien! I won't take it now, no matter what and my stomach is finally improving. But that's not all I discovered about it.  Look at this:

Common zolpidem side effects may include:

• daytime drowsiness, dizziness, weakness, feeling "drugged" or light-headed;
  
• tired feeling, loss of coordination;
  
• stuffy nose, dry mouth, nose or throat irritation;
  
• nausea, constipation, diarrhea, upset stomach; or
  
• headache, muscle pain.
  

 more:
http://www.drugs.com/zolpidem.html 

• Drowsiness
• headache
• muscle aches
• sleepiness or unusual drowsiness
• stuffy or runny nose

• Abdominal or stomach discomfort
• acid or sour stomach
• back pain
• being forgetful
• belching
• body aches or pain
• congestion

• difficulty having a bowel movement (stool)
•  heartburn
•  indigestion
•  unusual drowsiness, dullness, tiredness, weakness, or feeling of sluggishness
• loss of memory
• muscle pain or stiffness

 more:
http://www.drugs.com/sfx/zolpidem-side-effects.html

I was shocked!  Every single symptom I've been having problems with over the last several months is listed there and I know I've heard some of you say you had some of the same symptoms too!  It looks as though all the sinus problems I've been having and all the stomach problems, as well as the grogginess were being caused by this medication!  

Those are also all symptoms of RA, and while I know I did in fact have a flare up, it just kept getting worse instead of better.  Now I know why, it's because I kept taking that stupid Ambien.  Well at this point, I'd rather not sleep then deal with all those problems!  It's been only 3 days since I stopped taking the Ambien and I feel MUCH better already. I'm in pain, yes, but then I've been in pain for 14 years so I didn't expect that to stop as nice as it would be lol, but my stomach is finally improving, and yesterday for the first time in months, I didn't feel like I had to take a mucinex for my sinuses and don't feel I need one today either.  Nor have I had a headache since I stopped taking it, whereas before I was constantly getting them. My memory has even improved in the short time I've been off it.  For the first time in ages I'd begun taking a stool softener daily due to constipation because that had gotten worse then it's ever been, even though I also have IBS.  I haven't stopped taking them yet, but intend to do so soon as I have a feeling that the worsening of the constipation I've been experiencing has also been caused by the Ambien. 

I just had to let you all know about this in case any of you are also taking Ambien (zolpidem) or even a different prescription sleeping aid.  If you're not taking ambien but are taking a different one, I strongly suggest you look up the side effects like I did, on Drugs.com and check out both the main page about the drug and then at the end of the list of side effects on that page, click on the link that takes you to a more detailed listing of them and check that one too.  You might just find that it's very similar if not identical to Ambien's list.

Being a Burden

Being a Burden

If you hear yourself say, or think, “I am such a burden,” you are in danger.  Your mind will go to dark places, and you begin to develop immunity to the encouragement of other people and and even scripture. You won't believe others when they tell you that you're not a burden. After awhile, nothing anyone can say or do will convince you otherwise.  

Those of us who live with pain have to be extra careful about what we allow ourselves to think and dwell on. We have to remember that the Lord has planted us where we are, and expects us to bloom where we've been planted; not shrivel up and die.

I remember when I first had that thought pop into my mind.  I was of course, feeling sorry for myself at the time. I had forgotten what a huge pit we fall into when self pity enters the picture.  Thankfully for me, having experienced that before, I recognized it and quickly turned to the Lord and His Truth and went to battle.  I knew that I was fighting a spiritual battle, not a worldly one, and the only way to deal with that is the way our Lord did - with His Word.  I asked the Lord for help, as that's always the first thing to do, and He immediately replied.  In my heart I realized that I wasn't really feeling like I was a burden but rather reacting to the fact that I hated needing help period.  Yes, truthfully, I was thinking of myself, not others. 

Most of us hate needing help.  After all, the world has taught us to be independent. They often quote the "God helps those who help themselves" not realizing that that isn't anywhere in the bible and is in fact the total opposite of what God tells us.  God doesn't want us to be independent.  He wants us to rely on Him and on other members of the body of Christ.  Plus, He wants us to rely on Him and the body ALL the time, not just in times of crisis.  That's really rare to see today though because it takes a lot of commitment both to the Lord and to the Body of Christ.  

One of the first places the Lord asks us to practice this dependence is in our families, even when some members aren't saved. He showed me in His Word how He blesses those people who help others, and actually has special rewards for them in heaven. When I saw that, I realized that by not asking for help, I was keeping people from having the chance to get those rewards.  Now that was sure a whole different way of looking at it!  Not that any one can earn their salvation.  We know that's not true.  But we can earn rewards and the Lord wants us to strive for those rewards.  So I wasn't helping them or myself by trying to remain independent and not ask for help!  

He also reminded me that He uses the various situations we're in to help us grow in our faith.  I think we're all aware of that, but what I wasn't looking at was that He would use the fact that I needed others to help me to grow those others faith too.  So I was also denying them an opportunity to grow when I didn't ask for or accept help from others.  Even worse, as I came to find out, by refusing help in the past, and saying things like, "it's ok, I can do it" or whatever, other people began to be afraid to offer to help because they knew that at best I'd turn it down, and at worst, I might get upset with them..

Part of the problem with needing help is that it tends to make us feel useless.  That again is another one of Satan's lies though.  We have to remember we're at war and those of us who live with pain are often on the front lines. You and I are far from useless! The Lord has a purpose for us, and we can be sure that purpose will bring Him glory.  The problem again is that we tend to still think the way the world does, in that we think that useful people are those who can "do" things, which we can't do anymore.  But, if we're honest with ourselves, even if our bodies were completely paralyzed, and we couldn't move at all, we'd still be able to do the most important things Jesus asks of us.  The main thing that our Lord constantly spoke about was loving God and loving others, wasn't it?  

There is nothing at all stopping us from doing that.  In fact, because we've been wounded, we can probably love better then many other people can!  No matter how much pain we're in or how sick we are, we can still tell someone we love them.  We can still let them know we care.  We can still sit or even lay on the couch and just listen while they tell us their troubles.  How often people long for someone to do those two things and it never comes to pass, and yet we can do those things all day long! And those are two things the Lord wants us to do above all.  Another thing we can always do is pray for others.  We can pray aloud for them when they're with us, or just silently when we're alone and prayer is one of the most powerful weapons we have. 

Jesus said, I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:15)  That means that we are guaranteed to bear fruit for the Lord as we rest in Him and love others in His name. You see, our job isn't to be worry about being a burden to others, it's to love them, and to love them the way Jesus loved us. That's one reason that praying for them is always a good place to start. The more love we show toward others, the better we're going to feel about ourselves and others.  

Another thing we can do is give thanks no matter what's going on.  I don't mean that we should necessarily give thanks for our pain, but rather we can give thanks for God's help and our salvation if nothing else.  For God says, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 —give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. * 

Paul knew what it was like to need help too, and he knew all about being in pain, yet listen to what he tells us:  2 Corinthians 12:9 —But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. * Yes, my friends, we're weak, we need help, so let's be like Paul and boast in our weakness and let God's power shine through our lives!

It's also God's will for us that we each be sanctified (1 Thessalonians 4:3) and we are sanctified by His Truth -His Word is Truth. (John 17:17) which means simply that we need to spend time daily in His Word so we'll be able to stand firm against Satan's attacks as well as the attacks of the world and our flesh.  That's how Jesus fought back and that's the way we need to as well.  We can't do that if we don't know His Word though and if we haven't been renewed with it daily.  Once again, even in pain we can still read our bibles, no one can stop us from doing that, and we can still talk to the Lord and think about Him and His Word during the day.

See, when we start thinking we're a burden, we're feeling useless because the world has taught us that our identity is tied up with what we do, but that again isn't true.  We are no longer part of the world.  Our identity is in Christ, not the world!  And you can't get any better identity then to identify with the very Son of the One True God!  The world also tells us that we get our identity from what others say about it, but as for us, our identity comes from what God says about us!  He says we're clean by the Word He spoke to us.  He says we're forgiven and dearly loved by Him. He says that He will complete the work He's begun in us and that we have nothing at all to worry about.  Finally,He says that as long as we remain in a close relationship with Him, that He guarantees that we will produce plenty of fruit for God's Kingdom; fruit we produce just by loving Him and loving others the way He loves us.  It just doesn't get any better then that!  Lastly, the world tells us that our behavior tells us what to believe about ourselves, but God tells us that our thoughts determine our behavior and that we can be in control of our thoughts. Not only that we can be in control of them, but that we are supposed to be in control of them!

Our belief that we're a burden won't leave on its own. We need a counter-offensive. We need to remind ourselves what God says about us and that we're exactly where we need to be right now.  We need to start loving and remembering that God loves us and will help us every day. Yes, we're weak, so let's rejoice in our weakness for that's when God's strength and power are made perfect and can shine through us to the world!  Let's stand firm together against that idea that we're a burden and remind ourselves and each other that we are sons and daughters of God, specifically chosen by Him, and made new by Him, and that He continues to work in us and in our lives every single day.

God's lesson for us

I actually posted this last September, but wanted to copy it here for us.   I woke up at 1am due to pain and have been studying since then. I was just studying from where I'd left off in Genesis, reading about Joseph and Jacob, who was about 147 years old at this point in the story, and was surprised when I saw this message from the Lord to us and wanted to share it with you guys. First let me show you the scripture this is about:

Genesis 48:1–4 — Some time later Joseph was told, “Your father is ill.” So he took his two sons Manasseh and Ephraim along with him. *2 * When Jacob was told, “Your son Joseph has come to you,” Israel rallied his strength and sat up on the bed. *3 * Jacob said to Joseph, “God Almighty appeared to me at Luz in the land of Canaan, and there he blessed me *4 * and said to me, ‘I am going to make you fruitful and will increase your numbers. I will make you a community of peoples, and I will give this land as an everlasting possession to your descendants after you.’

Notice Genesis 48:3. When he had gotten to the very end, he called his son Joseph to his bedside, and the first words out of his mouth were “God Almighty.” He then proceeded to recount the blessings and promises of God. And again, this is instructive, because it is (sadly!) so different from how most people operate.

What do most people talk about when they are lying sick in the hospital bed? They talk about their sickness—the treatments, the medicines, the pain, the doctors, and so on! You go to visit them and it is as though there is nothing happening in the universe besides their sickness. You read the Bible to them, and they go right back to talking about their sickness. You ask about their family, and they use it as an opportunity to get back to bemoaning their sickness.

But, as Christians, we have something altogether more hopeful and more important to talk about! Namely, “God Almighty,” and what great things he has done for us! So both in his burial request and in his last conversation with Joseph, Jacob was using the last moments of his life to remind his family of their commitments to God! That is why he was buried where he was buried, and why he spoke the way he spoke—so that he might give one last testimony to encourage his sons to follow the LORD with all their hearts! Jacob’s desire to give a final testimony is also the reason why he called in Joseph’s sons (48:8–22)—and eventually brought together all of his children (ch. 49)—to pronounce God’s blessings upon them. What a beautiful way for Jacob to die!

You see, the key to Jacob’s happy ending was not mainly that he was happy. That was most obvious. He was thrilled to have his whole family together again. But that is not what was most important. What was important was that he finished his life in an all-out sprint, serving the Lord. Murmuring had been replaced with praise. Accusations had been replaced with blessings. Passivity and reclusiveness had been replaced with action. And fear had been replaced with faith (46:4)!

Strassner, K. (2009). Opening up Genesis. Opening Up Commentary

I've known a lot of people like the author is describing...people that just have to tell you all about their aches and pains, every gory detail of their surgeries, what this doctor said that was horrible and what that doctor did that caused them yet more pain, how close to death they are or have been, how no one helps them or spends time with them, etc. It's all they really talk about and it's obviously the most important thing in the world to them. They miss out on all the blessings God gives them because they're so focused on their pain and illness. It's really sad and not at all what the Lord wants for them.

It would certainly be easy for us to fall into this type of trap because it is so hard to live with constant pain. For me this was a very good reminder not only to not become like this, but also to keep my focus off myself and on our Lord, the Almighty God. I know from experience that when I do that, I wind up noticing His blessings more then my pain. And no matter how badly I hurt or feel, or how "unloved" or "unappreciated" I feel, when my focus is on the Lord, I realize that the opposite is really true, for He loves me unconditionally and He appreciates every little thing I do or even try to do and is always encouraging me and helping me. So just as a reminder to myself, I've written "Keep your focus on God, not on yourself or the pain; talk to Him and about Him all the time" and have it displayed where I can always see it.

Once again we're shown that God's ways are the opposite of the world's ways. The world says, think of yourself, demand better for yourself; while God says to think of Him first, then others and to be thankful and grateful for all things, even pain and illness.

Psalm 63:3 —Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. *

Colossians 3:17 —And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. *

Romans 12:12 —Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. *

1 Thessalonians 5:16–18—Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Accepting our pain

I actually wrote this on July 22nd, 2013, but wanted to copy it to the blog as it's important to me.

The Lord showed me something this morning that's really changed how I view the pain I'm in, my "condition", and, well, everything!   In explanation, the first thing I do in the morning when I get up is open my bible library. It opens to a "home page' which changes daily and looks similar to a newspaper. It has excerpts of scriptures, excerpts from commentaries, dictionaries, etc. I can click on anything and be taken to the rest of it and am able to view bibles and commentaries (or whatever) side by side.
 

I woke up in great pain this morning, as usual of course. You all know what I've been going through physically with the pain and trying to find a way out of it basically....something that will work, and how this last thing tried also backfired on me.

So I sat down and the first thing the Lord placed before my eyes this morning was from Genesis 3:6 where Eve "desired" the apple. He showed me that to desire something other then Him so strongly was a sin. In my commentary next to that, this was highlighted: The word for desirable (neḥmāḏ, Genesis 3:6) is related to a word that appears later in the command, “You shall not covet” (ṯaḥmōḏ, Ex. 20:17). I knew that already, but I'd never related it to how I felt physically before. Since that was the main thing in my mind when I woke up, that's immediately what I applied it too, and I was ashamed to realize that I had been sinning. I think partly it's because I'm used to thinking of coveting in this sense as coveting something "other then" God, or "instead of" God, instead of just plain coveting something. And I have to admit that I have indeed coveted/desired being without pain.

You know from what I've written in the pain forum, that, like many, what I've been focused on has been to get out of pain, to stop or overcome the pain somehow. It was all I "desired", and I desired it with all of me. I was just totally shocked when I saw this, because right next to it, was another verse that we know well: Philippians 4:11 —I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. * I was stunned! I'd never related that verse to what I perceived as my health before.

After reflecting on that for a bit and talking to the Lord about it and of course repenting of my sin, in a kind of dazed state, I decided to begin my devotional time with Him as I usually do, by praising Him with one of the Psalms of praise, only to discover that He wasn't done with the conversation yet. I have the praise psalms listed in order in my bible library and always have the one for that day already open when my bible library opens. Today's was Psalm 23 ... The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want!

I talked to the Lord then some more about what He was showing me of course and at that point, He led me back and had me read further here, only adding a couple more verses: Philippians 4:11–13 —I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. *I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. *I can do everything through him who gives me strength. *

I kept thinking about Paul and the amount of physical pain he must have often been in with all the severe beatings he'd had, and yet we never read of him whining about his physical condition, even though the people he wrote to had to also have known about his physical pain. Instead, he says, he's "content" and constantly is telling us to "rejoice". I looked up the word in the original language for "painful" in 1 Peter 4:12 —Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. *and this is what it says: the experience of painful suffering—‘to suffer pain, to experience severe suffering, painful suffering.’

Well, that certainly seems to describe how my body feels I'm not suggesting we shouldn't seek medical help for our conditions or that we shouldn't take medicine, or anything else. No, to me, this is all about attitude. Personally, I do feel sure that I'm to "accept" the pain I'm in, mentally and emotionally, knowing I can bear it through Him and that He will provide for my every need and work this out for His glory and my good.

I want to add here that the Lord teaches us that He is in control and that He puts each of us right where He wants us. Nothing happens to us that is outside His control.  He also says in  Psalm 16:5 —Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. * In Deuteronomy 10:9, we're shown that the Levites, the priests, were not given any inheritance like the rest of Israel were.  Instead, God told them that He was to be their inheritance. In the NT, God tells us that now we are His priests and He is our inheritance.  After all, the bible defines eternal life as getting to know the Lord better and better. (John 17:3) So,like David we can say, Psalm 73:26 —My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. * Interestingly, guess what scriptures are cross referenced to that? Revelation 21:3–4 —And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. *He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” *

Like Jesus told us, in this life, we will have tribulation and that includes physical pain for some of us.  If we allow Him to, the Lord will use the pain to make us more like Him, to make us into the men and women He created us to be.  It's our choice though.  We can cooperate with Him or we can fight against it. The only thing that fighting against it will change though is to make matters worse for ourselves. We need to remember that we're told: Acts 14:22 —...“We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said. * But also we're told that no hardship will ever separate us from Christ, and that it's in the hardships that Christ's power and strength are made perfect in our weakness. (Rom 8:35; 2 Corinthians 12:9–10) . We're told several times to endure the hardships and to know that we will be rewarded for it if we go through them with the attitude of Christ, instead of the world's attitude which is to try and manipulate things so that we don't have to go through it. 

We're to entrust ourselves to the Father, offering our bodies as a living sacrifice to Him.  For others this may mean something entirely different then it means to us.  For us this means pain and all that the pain brings with it.  It's not easy being a living sacrifice is it?  But then the Lord never, ever said it would be.  What He said was that it would be worth it, and because He said it, I believe it.  So let's always remember that along with our bodies we also need to offer up the sacrifice of praise, remembering to rejoice always.  We aren't rejoicing in the pain, we're rejoicing in Him, because He belongs to us and we belong to Him.  He's given us a great privilege...may we prove worthy of it with His help.

May God who's able to make all grace abound to us, so that in all things, and at all times, we have all that we need to abound in every good work for Him! (2 Corinthians 9:8; Philippians 4:19) 

It's such a relief to have you guys to talk to!

It's such a relief to have others that I know really do understand. People I don't have to "pretend" to. Well, pretend isn't the right word but I don't know what else to call it. Like when one of my kids or a friend or neighbor calls and wakes me up at 11am or 2pm or 5pm or all of the above and tries to give me advice when they don't have a clue what's causing it, even though I've told them before. Or when I'm in so much pain that I simply can't talk, I can't carry on a conversation, and they think I'm being rude or that I'm not interested in them or something.

Or then there's the friends who always have to try and "one up" you. You know what I mean? They'll ask how you are and actually want specifics, but if you say you're having trouble walking that day, then they'll explain how once they had so much trouble walking that they fell down twice. I've often wondered what they'd say if I told them I accidentally cut one of my fingers completely off because my hands were shaking so badly...just to see what part of their body they'd tell me they lost.

Or then there's the ones who call you up to complain about their headache, which is starting to get better now that they took some tylenol. And the ones who call because they just heard about the perfect "cure" for you. All you have to do is drink this juice, eat that kind of veggie or fruit or berry or something, and you'll be all better. No more pain! And they can bring you some right now if you want... They just don't get it when you say, no... "what do you mean you don't want any...don't you want to get better????

I shouldn't be like that I know,  they probably just don't know what else to talk about with people like us. It's rare to find a person who doesn't live with pain themselves that can just be themselves and accept you as you are without demanding that you be able to meet their expectations somehow.

So that's why I'm so very, very glad I've got you guys! With you guys I can just be me. I can rant and rave, cry, throw a tantrum, laugh, get excited or whatever. I can tell the truth in here: I can tell you that I'm in a lot of pain and know that you understand that I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm just stating facts. It's just life, that's all. No more, no less. Thank you for being here for me and for each other.

I honestly believe that it's really important for us to have each other and that God Himself arranged for each of us to be here for each other. Here we can mourn with each other, rejoice with each other, carry each others burdens and encourage each other, for we are all members of the same body, the body of Christ. It seems like every time we post to each other, it's as though the Lord is also posting with us and that's pretty neat!



2 Corinthians 1:3–4 —Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, *who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. *

Romans 12:5 —so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. *

1 Corinthians 12:26 —If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. *

Galatians 6:2 —Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. *

I know I should go to bed, but...

You know, from the time we're very little, we're taught by pain not to do things. We learn very quickly that if something hurts we shouldn't do that right? You reach for the pretty fire and your mom or dad smacks your hand. You don't do it again - not if you're smart. If you're not smart you do it again anyway and that pretty fire burns you and then you won't do it again for sure! You get stung by a bee once and you know for sure you don't want that to happen again and you do your best to avoid it. It's the same with anything else that hurts bad enough. You don't want a repeat performance. Well, at 57, that's pretty well ingrained in me now. Only now it's working against me because it's past my bedtime, but I don't want to go to bed because I know what's waiting for me there: pain, and lots of it. I'm not interested. Don't want to deal with it.

Yeah, I'm tired. I know I need to go to sleep. but I also know that within an hour of going to sleep, I'm going to wake up in severe pain. If I then get up and deal with the pain and get it taken care of and go back to bed, I'll then wake up again a little later again in severe pain. This will just continue in a vicious circle until I finally give up and just stay up. OR sometimes, if I'm lucky and time it right, I can manage to stay up all night and avoid the worst of the pain and then go to bed and sleep when everyone else is getting up. Because by then, I should be so totally exhausted that the pain won't wake me up until I've had a good 4 hours of sleep or so at least. But that doesn't usually work until I've had less then 2 hours sleep for a couple of nights in a row beforehand.

So, tonight, I'm rebelling. I'm not going to bed. Not until I don't have any other choice.

God closed the door

I bet we've all prayed at one time or another that if something we were planning or wanting was not His Will, that He would close the door before us and open the door He wanted us to go through. I know I've prayed that many times in the past, have you?

As I was studying this morning, the Lord reminded me that this life of pain that I live now is where He has planted me and that I'm to bloom right here and stop trying to force open doors He has closed. Instead of whining that I can't get out and do things I used to do, I should be making the best use of what I can do. I know that the Lord is in control and that if I'm unable to work, unable to do the things I used to do for fun with my family, am unable to meet new people or even see old friends, etc., that even if I can't figure out what it is, the Lord does in fact have work for me to do right here and now.

The Lord tells us we are to bear fruit for His Kingdom and He will always help and enable us to do just that. Even though the Lord has closed many doors to us, there are other doors that are wide open and those are the doors we must walk through. Our pain and illness can't stop us from praying or reading His Word or applying it to our lives. It can't stop us from loving others. While we may be limited in how we can show that love, our hearts aren't limited. Our pain and illness can't stop us from forgiving others who have hurt us, let us down, betrayed us or spitefully used us. Our pain and illness can't stop us from learning to be content, even in the midst of our pain, and it can't stop us from praising God for giving us the opportunity to deny ourselves and live for Him instead.

I don't know about you, but I've always been pretty stubborn. The easiest way for my mom to get me to do something was to tell me that I couldn't do it. I have learned of course that stubbornness is most often a sin, but also realized that I could use it to help me grow too. We know that being saved doesn't magically give us some kind of immunity to trials, problems and trouble in our lives because the Lord told us that we'd always have these things. What it does give us though is the satisfaction of knowing that when we are going through a hard time, like having to live with pain, that it's going to work for us and not against us. That's a pretty big difference when you think about it! On top of that, we also know that the Lord will be with us every second of every day, to help us, comfort us, encourage us, teach us and guide us. Then when we finally lay down these bodies of pain, He will reward us for every moment we were able to cooperate with the work He was doing in us through that pain. He will reward us for persevering with what we could do, going through the open doors instead of whining over the doors that were closed and He will share His glory with us!

I've come to realize over the years that the Lord has not "afflicted me" but instead has given me a very great privilege! By giving me this life of pain, He's offered me the opportunity to have a closer, deeper, more personal relationship with Him then most people ever will, because they're so busy with this life - just as I would have been had pain not entered the picture. Living with pain has taught me to love and appreciate Him more then I ever would have before and to long for Him and for Heaven, my real home, more then I ever would have before. Think of it...if everything is fine in this life, why would we long for heaven? We wouldn't! Instead, we'd want to be part of this world and we'd want to live here always. God in His mercy has shown us though that His ways are better and Heaven is more fantastic then we can ever begin to imagine!

I used to be a very prideful person. I was very proud of all that I did etc, but the Lord used this pain to humble me and now uses it to keep me humble. I used to rely on myself for everything and now I have to rely on the Lord to get through every day. Praise God! I think we can all probably relate to a lot of this.

But the one thing I have to keep reminding myself of is that with this pain, God has also given us an opportunity to allow Him to display His Power in our lives! (John 9:3) Every moment of every day, we have that opportunity unlike most of our brothers and sisters in Christ. We can choose to feel sorry for ourselves, give in to the pain, or we can keep on relying on Him and doing those things He's given us to do. Whether it's just reflecting on His Word, praying for others, smiling through our pain, allowing someone else the opportunity to serve God by helping us -being the receiver so someone else can be blessed by being the giver; encouraging others who are going through a hard time or who are living with pain as well, or whatever door He may have opened to us that day. The more I think about it, the more amazed I am at the amazing opportunity the Lord has given me. I used to think I had few choices and now, because of the pain, I see that I'm constantly making choices every moment of every day... choosing to have my life reflect His love or have it reflect this pain.

John 9:3 —“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. *

Romans 5:3–5 —Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; *perseverance, character; and character, hope. *And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. *

Romans 8:17–18 —Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. *I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. *

My whole life was suddenly gone

So many of us have been going through such hard times, that I thought it might help others if I shared my experiences and what the Lord taught me when I first began to go through a very hard time myself after being saved. I hope my experience and more importantly, what the Lord taught me then, will help someone else.

When I was first diagnosed and told I couldn't work anymore, I was devastated. My whole life was suddenly gone. What made it worse for me too was that out of 5 kids, they had all grown up and I only had the last one still at home and she was just about ready to fly on her own. So I was dealing with that empty nest syndrome too.

I quickly discovered that I had defined myself by what I did: being a mom, working every day in health care and being the best in my field, taking karate and going for my black belt, being active at church, etc. The Lord quickly showed me that these things weren't "me". Took me a long time to buy it though . I felt like I was totally useless and might as well be dead. I was no good to anyone, so I thought. I wasn't needed as a "Mom" anymore; I couldn't do my job, in fact, I was more like my patients then like the aide I was, so that part of me was now dead too. I couldn't do karate anymore, which for me had been great fun. I never laughed so much or had such a good time doing anything as I did there, and I was pretty good at it too and now I couldn't do any of it. It felt like all the joy was gone from my life. I still had church, but found that I was either in so much pain that it made concentrating hard, or if I took my medicine, I was nodding off during the sermon which was really embarrassing.

I really wanted to work though, at something...anything! There was just no way we could pay our bills with only one paycheck coming in. My job was not only fulfilling to me, it was necessary as it helped considerably to pay the bills. Without my check, it couldn't be done. (or so I thought anyway) I was scared to death! We didn't have much, but I sure didn't want to lose what little we did have and I most certainly didn't want to have to live on the streets and that's exactly where I thought we were heading.

But, The Lord Himself told me He didn't want me working! I still tried a bunch of times though because I had to have that pay check & I needed to "do" something. Every time I tried to work though, I failed. The doctor was right...I simply wasn't able to work anymore.

Slowly all my so called friends dropped out of my life, so I didn't have anyone to talk to either. Their lives were simply much to busy to bother with me much anymore. Slowly, the Lord spoke to me and I came to realize that who I am in Christ was much more important then who I was in the world. The Lord pointed out to me that no matter how much pain I was in there was still two things I could do and do well: Pray and teach Bible Studies.

So I joined my churches prayer team and the emergency prayer chain. I made lists of people I knew that I could pray for every day and began to do just that. LOL My list was humongous LOL; As I saturated myself in the Bible and prayer I began to feel better about me and about life. Oh I was still depressed, (I'm very stubborn LOL) but it was getting better.

I still kept trying to find a job I could do though, with no success. I was very lonely. Then one day I decided I was just going to go to every place in town that listed a job opening and apply for them regardless of what the job was. And that's exactly what I did. I got hired!!! I couldn't believe it! It was at a garage of all places too LOL So the guy hired me, takes me in his office to discuss pay and exactly what I'd be doing etc. He told me I'd be working at the counter. I asked him if there was a stool or something I could sit on and he said "No". Well, I knew there was just no way I could stand up for even an hour much less for 8 hours straight. Even if I wasn't doing anything else at all, I'd be in the emergency room before my first day was a third of the way over! He was still talking to me about what all my job would entail and now was saying that he'd pay me even more then he'd said in the ad.

But all I could hear in my head was this kind of "dead silence" of disapproval. It wasn't a "mean" silence; in fact it felt kind of sad. I knew it was the Lord. I also knew that I had to make a choice. Right then and there. It couldn't be put off anymore. I was either going to disobey the Lord and take this job (which would probably also be letting down this really nice guy because I knew I really wouldn't be able to do the job no matter how hard I tried to) Or, I was going to obey Him and tell this man that I couldn't take the job after all. (talk about humiliating!) Faced with that choice, now that it was "real and physical" instead of just a thought in my head, it only took a second to choose.

The man was still talking while this all went on in my head, and I suddenly burst into tears. I'm not talking about crying a little bit. I was sobbing like it was the end of the world. (well, to me it was the end of my world). That nice man came over and put his arm around me, handing me some Kleenex and told me "It's going to be OK". I knew something was bothering you, so you just let it all out and then you can tell me about it". Of course, that just made me cry harder Poor guy! When I could talk, I explained to him that I'd been hurt at work and that I really couldn't work anymore but I really wanted to, even though the Lord had told me He didn't want me to either. And that when he'd been talking, I knew that I had to choose whether or not to obey the Lord or to try and do the job anyway, even though I knew there was no way I could stand up that long etc. He just nodded as though there was nothing at all unusual in what I'd said and encouraged me to continue, so I told him that I chosen to obey the Lord. And that the Lord had also shown me that if I'd tried to do the job, I'd only have hurt him (the man I was talking to) because I wouldn't be able to do the job.

I don't remember what all the man said after that, except that he was very kind and obviously seemed to be on familiar terms with the Lord himself. I left there and went home and confessed my sin of continuing to try to work to the Lord. Had a nice long talk with Him then, confessing my fears that we wouldn't be able to pay our bills and that we'd have no place to live etc.

So you can understand just how completely devastating this money issue was to me, let me just say that I had lost everything I own, except for the clothes on my back and the clothes my children were wearing 3 times in my life. And I really do mean "everything". That happened quite a bit in my past, but more recently, about 4 years before I got hurt, I had again lost my home although that time I'd at least managed to keep most of my belongings. Each time it had been due to bad financial decisions and poor work habits on the part of my ex husband. Since the last time about 4 years earlier, since I was saved then, I decided to handle my money God's Way according to His Word. Losing everything each time did teach me that "things" aren't so important, but at the same time, security became very important to me, including "financial security".

So I confessed all of this to the Lord that day and had another good old fashioned cry on His shoulder.

As you can see, I was in pretty bad shape emotionally and felt very stressed out, depressed and confused. God said "don't work" but how were we supposed to pay the bills??? This is when the Lord began to teach me some very important and very basic lessons about just who was really in charge of this world, of me and of my life. First He showed me who I really was and it had nothing to do with being a mother, a wife, a good worker, karate, or anything else in my life. It had to do with Him.

As He showed me who I really was now that I was saved, I began to feel much better. He showed me many scriptures about this and I read them every day, sometimes several times a day, just letting them soak into my mind, my heart and my spirit until they became a part of me.
If you look back on what I said that I was focusing on as the things that defined myself, I'm sure you'll say that's pretty normal. Look at what I discovered though, keeping in mind that everything that's being said here also includes our finances--actually it includes every aspect of our lives: 

I hear people who seem to think that upon becoming a Christian their lives should have suddenly gotten "better", that they shouldn't have to deal with the regular every day problems, and trials like they were before. So their "faith" weakens because they assume that Jesus isn't "doing anything". The false teachers that preach the prosperity gospel and the so called healing ministries that tell people that if you become a Christian that God will heal your body and mind and you won't have health problems anymore, only make this problem worse, because they're not only teaching lies, they're telling people that it's all about them, and it's not. It's about Him. When we become saved, we don't suddenly embark on a life of recreation and ease; a life of just happiness; no, when we sign up to be a Christian, we are signing up to be soldiers in a war! The last time I checked, most soldiers in a war zone, wouldn't consider their lives as lives of recreation and ease!

This is also very true of many people who live with pain, like me, or people who deal with chronic depression. (which many people who live with pain battle with as well.) The temptation is to make your life all about you, and as believers, we can not do that! It must be about God and about others! As humans tainted with sin, it's practically beat into us by the world to focus on ourselves. You hear it all the time out in the world: "take care of yourself" "take care of #1" along with the nice sounding line that if you don't take care of yourself, that you can't help others. But with God it doesn't work that way. He never tells us to to take care of ourselves first. He says just the opposite. He says that we are to make Him number 1 in our lives and all others should be number 2, with ourselves coming in last. Often because we are so indoctrinated with the worldview that we should put ourselves first, we just don't stop to think about if that's scriptural or not.

I think that this was one of the biggest lessons I had to learn, as it's so much the opposite of what the world teaches, and it pervades everything! Think about it: the biggest thing that pervades worldly thinking has to do with what the world calls "self esteem". That's the basis of where they get that doctrine of "take care of yourself, put yourself first" etc. That core teaching is the core of just about everything else taught in this world and it grabs Christians too without them even knowing it's wrong. They even try to use the bible to teach it. How many people do you know that honestly think that the bible says, "God helps those that help themselves"? The vast majority of people think that's in the bible! But it's not! The bible teaches the opposite of that! God's Word says that we are not to rely on ourselves, but rather that we are to rely on Him!

 

 A Biblical View of Self-Esteem
An Explanation of Key Verses

Definitions from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary

 Self-Esteem: Undo PRIDE in oneself

Pride: Overhigh opinion of oneself; conceit

Humility: Absence of PRIDE or self-assertion 

 

The attached Bible verse explanations detail how God views us and how we should view ourselves. Taken in proper context, the attached Biblical references clearly indicate that there is no Biblical basis for self-esteem, self-love, self-acceptance, self-confidence, self-forgiveness, self-assertion, "proper" self-image, self-actualization, or any of the other selfisms advocated by the worldly system of psychology. The Bible's answer for our emotional "problems": turn from self to Christ (and His all-sufficient Word).

 

 When you're up to it, have a look at that thread that these posts are in and check out the scriptures too. It's very eye opening!  Biblical Self-Esteem

 

This then was what the Lord began to teach me, drawing on my past experiences to show me His Truth in action and how it worked. I began to understand not only who I was, but who He was! I'd always thought I knew who He was and had often heard and said myself that "God is in control". Now I realized that I really hadn't believed it at all. I realized that much of what I thought I believed was only head knowledge and not heart knowledge. God is so good to us though because before I could let that start getting to me, He quickly showed me how to make it heart knowledge. I also realized that I was beginning to understand a lot more about sin as well. I mean, we all know about the 10 commandments, and I'd known of the sin of pride and a few of the other self sins as well, such as self righteousness etc. but now I was learning there were many other attitudes that were sinful and that I practiced all of them! Some of the self sins He showed me were: self sufficiencey, pride, being judgmental, self righteousness, self savior (this was a BIG one for me as I was always thinking that I could fix any problem all by myself and that no one could do it better then I could etc.); being self centered instead of God centered; self justification; being self reliant instead of relying on God; self indulgent; self serving; self seeking; ‎self-interest; and self realization which says: I have the right to claim to my life for myself (instead of knowing that my life belongs to God). I'm sure you can see how they all kind of go hand in hand and one often leads to another or morphs into another. Boy did I have a LOT to work on! Again though the Lord quickly reminded me that I was already forgiven and that this was just another step toward growing in Christ; we'd take it one day at a time.

Now, I'm condensing my learning experience for the sake of getting this all across without making it longer then necessary. The Lord didn't show me all of this on one day, or even one week. Especially not the sins. He only showed me one of those at a time and when I'd gotten that one under control, He'd show me another etc. And He always showed me how to deal with the particular sin He'd shown me too. I'm only listing some of them here for you to give you an idea of what He was showing me.

Remember though that He was showing me all of this for two purposes. First to teach me who I was in Him and second to teach me who He was and by doing that, show me that He would take care of my finances, my home, my car, my husband, my children, the cats, and of course of me. He was teaching me to truly know Him and as I began to know Him better, I began to trust Him more. The more I trusted Him, the less anxiety and fear I had. That's putting it all in a nutshell of course and there's much more to it. But I need to post this now before it really does become a book.

 

Part 2

 

I know I've talked about a lot of this in many of the other studies we've done here over the years so this is kind of showing how it all started; or how I first began to learn about these things. Like anything else we learn, the Lord would first show me the basics of that thing and then work with me on building my knowledge. When He thought I was ready, He would then help me take that head knowledge and turn it into heart knowledge. That's the hard part and I've found that often that's what His tests are all about. Head knowledge doesn't really help us that much, although it's a necessary first step. But when we take that knowledge and turn it into heart knowledge, then, then it makes a big difference in our lives.

Sometimes I don't like the word "test" to describe what the Lord does, but I can't think of anything else to use to explain it. It is very much like a test. The problem with that is that for many people the word "test" has some very negative connotations to them. What I want everyone to know is that the Lord doesn't test us because we've been "bad" or disobedient. When we're being disobedient and won't pay attention to His attempts to get us back where we belong, then He will discipline us, but that is entirely different from when He gives us these tests. Discipline is for when we misbehave or are disobedient. The tests are to increase our faith and as I said, to take our knowledge and turn it into heart knowledge so that it changes our lives and how we relate to this life, other people and even ourselves and of course with Him too.

So tests are not a bad thing; although we often perceive them as such. But then as I recall from when I was in school, I didn't much care for the tests then either lol So it's really no different.

How can you tell if you're being tested or being disciplined? Well, that's really pretty easy. If you're being disciplined, then you haven't been being obedient to God and we generally know when we haven't been. As for tests, I've noticed that with many of the tests I've been through, it's been very obvious, because the test will obviously involve material that I've just been studying with Him about. So, for example, when I was studying about how we're to trust God and rely on Him for everything and that fear and worry are sins; that He is our provider and will take care of us etc and suddenly the bottom falls out in our lives and Bruce is laid off work... Well it didn't take a genius to figure out that it was a test.

Or, when I was studying about love and forgiveness and our relationships with others and suddenly opportunities were present in my life where I needed to forgive; where I needed to love, to humble myself and put others wants and needs ahead of my own. Again, it didn't take much thought to realize that it was a test.

Sometimes God will also test us on things we've studied with Him in the past too, but I've noticed that He always does a quick review at least before He gives the test. And He gives all kinds of different tests, just like our teachers in school used to. It might be a quick pop quiz, or a regular scheduled test, or a dreaded semester exam. It all depends on what He knows you need to grow.

When we took tests in school, the teacher always graded us and we either passed, or failed, and if we passed, we either barely squeezed by, or did average or did really well and passed with flying colors. The bad part of our tests in school was that we often couldn't retake them if we didn't do well, so they affected our grade for the year. With the Lord though, that's not true. You WILL pass the test, no matter how many times He has to give it to you or how long it takes. It's pretty much up to you how long it takes because it's up to you how much you study and apply God's Word to your life. So if you're stuck in a test and you want out, the only way to do it is to study hard and apply what you learn.

How do I know that the Lord will get us through these tests and teach us? Because His Word says so.

Romans 14:4 (NIV) — 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

If this is true, then why are there Christians who are still so worldly? It's hard to speak in generalities, but there are several possible reasons. First, they may not be saved; Second, if they are saved, then they have chosen to be disobedient and remain that way. While God will make His children stand firm, He only does that for those children who are willing to be obedient to Him. Those who choose disobedience are disciplined but if they continue to to disobey Him and ignore the leading of the Holy Spirit, eventually they will have hardened their hearts to the point where they won't be able to hear the Holy Spirit even if they suddenly decided they wanted to. God won't force us to obey Him or to do His Will even after we're saved. What He will do once we are saved, is constantly draw us toward a deeper relationship with Him and a deeper understanding of His Word and knowledge of His Will. It's till up to us however. Even after we're saved, we can turn away from Him. It will not affect our salvation, as we will still be saved, but it will affect whether or not He will be pleased with us or ashamed of us; it will affect our standing in eternity and what we will do during eternity in Heaven. He certainly is not going to have stubborn, spoiled children in charge of anything or doing anything with any importance at all! Some people don't care what they'll be doing in heaven and say it doesn't matter, but our Lord cares about what we'll be doing and has great and wondrous plans for our future there, and a great many gifts (rewards) for us too. If we refuse to listen to Him now and obey Him now though, we will lose all of that and more importantly, He will be ashamed of us, and we will be ashamed of ourselves.

1 John 2:28 (NIV) — 28 And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming.

Hebrews 3:13 (NIV) — 13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV) — 15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

Thankfully, if we don't wait too long, we can always turn from being disobedient and decide to obey Him. The reason i say "if we don't wait too long" is because we don't know when our life will be over, we could die in the next moment; and we don't know when the rapture will happen--it could occur at any second; and lastly, we have no way of knowing just how far we've tried his patience and when we will have passed that point of no return. So it's obviously much better for us to be obedient right away and not take any chances. I guess you could look at it like the child who refuses to do any work of their school work. It's not because they're stupid or incapable of doing the work, they could do it, but they just don't want to and they're stubborn, so they don't. (one of my kids tried that!) The school and teachers try all they can to get this child to do what needs doing, but when everything's been tried and nothing else can be done, there comes a point where it's time to give up and leave the child to the consequences of their decision, hoping that eventually those consequences will teach them a lesson and they'll start to cooperate. That's pretty much what Paul is talking about when he says to turn that man over to Satan:

1 Corinthians 5:5 (NIV) — 5 hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.

And that's pretty much what happens with those who are saved but refuse to leave their worldly life behind and grow in Christ. 

 

Tips and Tricks to relieve/reduce pain

I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread like this where we can each share different things we've learned that help relieve or reduce our pain even a little. 

I've now tried all the different products during a flare up and the one that works the very best, that I now love and can't live without is:
 



These were MUCH easier to use then the OraMoist! Another difference is that you use two at a time of these instead of just one of the Oramoist; but these stick instantly and they stay stuck whereas the Oramoist didn't. Plus, the best part is that these work the way they say they will and you get almost a full four hours of a nice moist mouth! I was lucky if the other worked for an hour when my flare was at it's worst. Another big difference to me was that the oramoist didn't always totally dissolve and regardless of whether they did or not, they left you with a nasty gooey feeling in your mouth that you literally had to clean out with a cloth or tissue each time you used them as they left a residue in your mouth. (and that residue did not keep your mouth moist) With the Xylimelts however, they dissolve completely and leave your mouth feeling fresh and clean--no yucky residue!

I did have one funny thing happen to me with the Xylimelts last night though. I was having a dream that I was eating dinner and woke up and realized that I had started chewing on the xylimelts dislodging them from my cheeks LOL So, using my finger, I just stuck them back on my cheeks with no problem and went back to sleep laughing at myself. The only thing my chewing had caused was that my mouth was very moist and I had to swallow the extra saliva I'd worked up chewing them I thought about replacing them with new ones instead of putting those back in place, but it was so close to time to get up anyway, that I just went back to sleep. I figure this occurred when I'd had the xylimelts in my mouth for at least 3 hours already and only had about an hour to go on them anyway, which just served to prove again that they lasted as long as advertised. I hope all my experimenting helps someone else besides just me, but I'm sure glad to have finally found something that really helps! Oh, I wasn't able to find this locally so had to order it from Amazon, but it came within three days and wasn't expensive at all!


My biggest trick is still the soap I have to admit. I'm once again keeping a bar in my pants leg as the spasms have started up really bad in my leg again..only now instead of my calf, it's in my thigh. Soap will stop cramps, spasms, and pain!

 Heat helps a lot for osteo or Rheumatoid arthritis pain, and these are especially made for arthritis because they reflect your body heat back into itself and it says too that they kind of massage your hand or whatever area you're using it for. Now I'm always cold, so I wasn't sure it would work for me, but it does. Here's what I mean about those made for arthritis; they have them for knees, ankles, wrists, hands/fingers, elbows, and the lower back too.


 
The Anti-Arthritis Gloves are gloves designed for use by individuals with arthritis or other hand and wrist disabilities. The gloves are designed to help relieve pain while performing everyday tasks. There are lightweight half-finger gloves,and three quarter finger gloves.  They offer gentle controlled compression to ease pain and stiffness of arthritis and carpal tunnel syndrome and control swelling. The stretchable fabric creates therapeutic warmth that increases circulation to the wearers hands fingers and wrists.

 

The Most Comfortable Slipper You’ll Ever Own When your feet are in pain, your whole body hurts! With these fabulous miracle comfort slippers, your feet will be surrounded by unbelievable warmth and soothing magnetic therapy. Includes 4 built-in 800 gauss magnets, believed by many to improve circulation and soothe tired, aching feet. Complete with non skid rubberized panel for safety, as well as built-in ventilation panel to keep feet dry and healthy. Fashion import made of cushy acrylic, comes in men’s (navy) fitting up to men’s size 12 and ladies’ (pink) fitting up to a ladies’ size 9.

 Another little trick I found for my elbow pain due to RA that really helps, especially when I'm typing is to put a little pillow on the arm of my chair. I have a little cross stitch pillow that my daughter Jennifer made me when she was in high school. It says, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee." But it's the perfect size because it's 11 inches long, 8 inches wide, and not even an inch thick. Amazingly it actually stays on the chair arm without any problem too and gives my elbow just enough padding to that it's not killing me

One of the things I've found that helps me with lower back and leg pain is lumbar underwear.  Yeah, lol, I know it sounds funny LOL but they really do help. Don't get me wrong, they aren't a "tremendous" help by any means, but they do help a little and every little bit counts! Here's a picture of what I'm talking about:



Amazingly they're actually pretty comfortable! My workers comp insurance paid for them so I know if you have workers comp they will pay for them. You can get them in a number of places on line--just do a search for lumbar wear. 

 I've also done a number of "little things" to help keep the pain down, such as rearranging my cupboards and even my fridge so that the things I use the most are within easy reach and I don't have to bend to get them. Plus since I'm weakest in the mornings, my husband started a routine of making sure that the gallon of milk wasn't too heavy for me to pick up when I first wake up. At first we just used a small cream pitcher but that didn't hold enough if I wanted to have cereal in the morning as well as coffee lol so he started getting two gallons at a time. He used the first gallon till it was half empty and then left that one for just me and started using the second one. By the time "my" gallon is empty, "his" gallon is about half gone and it's ready for me, so then he goes and buys another gallon for him to start on. It's amazing how much little things like that help!

 I have a list of "things that help when I'm in pain" printed out and taped up where I can always see it. On it are listed these things:

My Pain Toolbox:

Pray, pray, pray!

Study the Bible!

light--turn on all the lights in the house and open all the shades! (it improves your mental/emotional outlook which will help you feel better physically as well)

Praise and worship music--turn it on and turn it up! (same as above)

sing along with the music

move around--(don't just stay in the same position if you're hurting badly, moving around a little can help relieve the pain, even if it's just going into a different room and sitting in a different chair for a few minutes or laying down for a few minutes etc.)

bounce on ball-- (I have a large 65cm exercise ball that my physical therapist asked me to get to help with my core strengthening exercises. I found that even just sitting on it and bouncing gently, improves my mood greatly because I generally start to giggle, LOL and again, if you improve your mental/emotional mood, the physical follows)

smile and laugh! read jokes, look at funny pictures, anything!

shower--(or soak in tub) sometimes a hot shower will help ease the pain

massage (massage from hubby or friend or a massage therapist--I got my workers comp insurance to agree to pay for me to have 2-3 massages a week during my really bad flare ups)

moist heat--you can get things that will do this and just put them in microwave, for me, my physical therapist does it for me

(for other people, ice packs help alot, so I'll add that here for you guys, but they don't help me...)

heating pad

core strengthening and stretching exercises

back brace, knee brace, arthritis gloves etc they all help some!

small footstool under my desk so I can put my feet up

cushion on arm of my chair to cushion my elbow (arthritis) you can see a pic of it here, it's really for use with a mouse but works great for my elbow lol

desk chair -- my desk chair is one of those ergonomical ones that really helps my back alot and is the most comfortable place I can sit in my house! Obviously everyone can't run right out and buy one, but we got mine at Walmart for a pretty cheap price, so if you keep looking, I'm sure you can find one too.

small round pillow in bed that goes between my knees--it helps tremendously, in fact, so much that I'm just shocked! It's the same length as a regular pillow but it's round and very squishy so it's very very comfy!

a blow up pillow for my back that my therapist gave me to use when sitting in a chair and it really helps a whole lot!!!! I can now sit in a regular living room chair or recliner, much longer!

Getting dressed every day. --The temptation for me is to not get dressed every day. Partly because it's such a chore and hassle and it hurts. But I force myself to do it anyway. I generally have to wait for several hours after I wake up, before I can move enough to do it, but then I do get dressed. The reason is simple: I've found that when I get dressed, I feel better about myself. I've found that even though I wear clothes that are comfy, that if I put on clean clothes, that look decent, even though they're comfy; brush my hair, etc. that I feel better about me in general. That in turns translates to feeling just that tiny bit better physically too. Originally when I first started having to force myself to get dressed, I told myself to do it for Bruce. I felt that he at least deserved to have a wife that looked half way decent when he got home from work. I still think that's true too, but over time realized that it was actually helping me both physically and mentally feel better.

Make an effort to socialize/fellowship with others every single day.-- Again, I realize how impossible that can be for many of us. For me, I mostly get this from being here on FH with you guys as I can't really get out much. But again, I've found that talking with others, be it in person or here on the board, helps me to feel better. I think it's because it takes my focus off of myself and puts it on other people, and that's what helps. It also keeps my brain working which is good for me too. Plus, we know that the Lord says that the more we focus on others and try to encourage them or help them, the better off we'll be ourselves, and I found that to be quite true. So the less I feel like talking, the harder I force myself to come and post anyway lol; and it always helps. I think another reason it helps too is because it helps distract me from the pain itself somewhat.

play computer games, read, or something like that to distract yourself from the pain



Next, on my computer desktop I have this written out on a note pad that says "Read when you're in pain"

The Lord has planted me where He wants me,
He has assigned me my portion and my cup. Blessed is the Lord who gives and takes away!
He is my God and in Him will I trust.

Remember: Hang in there, the pain WILL diminish and it WILL go away.... talk to the Lord and wait on Him. Find ways to distract yourself. You do NOT need more pills!!!!

WALK; take a shower; use the PATCHES; pray; praise the Lord with song! Take IBUPROFEN & FLEXERIL; use the heating pad!
hold belly button in!

BREATHING EXERCISES!

Idea: try drinking more WATER....

Remember that on your bad days, the pills really don't help anyway. But the day will pass and tomorrow will come.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christs power may rest on me. That is why, for Christs sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, hardships, persecutions, difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I TOLD you the pills don't help!!!

But if you're going to take them, wait at least an hour and 15 mins in between doses. If 2nd dose doesn't work, wait till it's been at least 4 hours and 15 mins since 1st dose.

Anything not done from faith is sin.

He whispers in our ear, "I love you my child, and I am here with you, lean on me; together we can get through this."  Then He vows that although we may be in sorrow or pain now, that in the end our reward will bring us tremendous joy! Hang on to Him who loves you more than we could ever imagine. Let Him take your burden and carry it for now. Think instead of the day that really will come, probably sooner then we think, when we will stand in His presence and receive our rewards and be continually filled with His joy and love!



One last thing I did: When you live with pain pretty much all sensations associated with your body, are painful and I wanted to change that. I especially had a hard time making myself go to bed at night because I knew that I was going to wake up in tremendous pain, so I avoided it like the plague. (which of course didn't help) So what I've done is turned my bed into the most luxurious place in the world to be! I did it over time of course because it takes money and that's something most of us, including me, don't have much of. I found by accident a blanket that was so luxurious and soft, it just made you want to cuddle up into it. It's made of micro fleece. This material though is softer then cashmere and it's not expensive! So I got the blanket, then eventually got sheets and pillowcases made out of it, and then my favorite style of pj's made out of it! Now when it's bedtime, I look forward to it because I'm in luxury! You won't believe how soft it is, it's just incredible! I also got one of those heated mattress pads from ebay for a great price which is something I can't imagine living without now, especially since we live in New England. Last but not least, I finally found a pretty bedspread so it even looks pretty. So now bedtime is like going to an expensive spa!

Well that's pretty much what's in my toolbox besides my prescription pain meds. But I want to use those as little as possible. I look at all these things like saving pennies, because each of these things alone, may not do a whole lot. A penny by itself may not be worth much, but when they keep piling up, they can add up to quite a bit!

Edited to add: Here's another program that I use every day that's really helped me alot: Smart Diary Suite 4.5 Medical Edition
You can get the free version and if you keep an eye on giveaway of the day, they offer it once in awhile for free!