God's lesson for us

I actually posted this last September, but wanted to copy it here for us.   I woke up at 1am due to pain and have been studying since then. I was just studying from where I'd left off in Genesis, reading about Joseph and Jacob, who was about 147 years old at this point in the story, and was surprised when I saw this message from the Lord to us and wanted to share it with you guys. First let me show you the scripture this is about:

Genesis 48:1–4 — Some time later Joseph was told, “Your father is ill.” So he took his two sons Manasseh and Ephraim along with him. *2 * When Jacob was told, “Your son Joseph has come to you,” Israel rallied his strength and sat up on the bed. *3 * Jacob said to Joseph, “God Almighty appeared to me at Luz in the land of Canaan, and there he blessed me *4 * and said to me, ‘I am going to make you fruitful and will increase your numbers. I will make you a community of peoples, and I will give this land as an everlasting possession to your descendants after you.’

Notice Genesis 48:3. When he had gotten to the very end, he called his son Joseph to his bedside, and the first words out of his mouth were “God Almighty.” He then proceeded to recount the blessings and promises of God. And again, this is instructive, because it is (sadly!) so different from how most people operate.

What do most people talk about when they are lying sick in the hospital bed? They talk about their sickness—the treatments, the medicines, the pain, the doctors, and so on! You go to visit them and it is as though there is nothing happening in the universe besides their sickness. You read the Bible to them, and they go right back to talking about their sickness. You ask about their family, and they use it as an opportunity to get back to bemoaning their sickness.

But, as Christians, we have something altogether more hopeful and more important to talk about! Namely, “God Almighty,” and what great things he has done for us! So both in his burial request and in his last conversation with Joseph, Jacob was using the last moments of his life to remind his family of their commitments to God! That is why he was buried where he was buried, and why he spoke the way he spoke—so that he might give one last testimony to encourage his sons to follow the LORD with all their hearts! Jacob’s desire to give a final testimony is also the reason why he called in Joseph’s sons (48:8–22)—and eventually brought together all of his children (ch. 49)—to pronounce God’s blessings upon them. What a beautiful way for Jacob to die!

You see, the key to Jacob’s happy ending was not mainly that he was happy. That was most obvious. He was thrilled to have his whole family together again. But that is not what was most important. What was important was that he finished his life in an all-out sprint, serving the Lord. Murmuring had been replaced with praise. Accusations had been replaced with blessings. Passivity and reclusiveness had been replaced with action. And fear had been replaced with faith (46:4)!

Strassner, K. (2009). Opening up Genesis. Opening Up Commentary

I've known a lot of people like the author is describing...people that just have to tell you all about their aches and pains, every gory detail of their surgeries, what this doctor said that was horrible and what that doctor did that caused them yet more pain, how close to death they are or have been, how no one helps them or spends time with them, etc. It's all they really talk about and it's obviously the most important thing in the world to them. They miss out on all the blessings God gives them because they're so focused on their pain and illness. It's really sad and not at all what the Lord wants for them.

It would certainly be easy for us to fall into this type of trap because it is so hard to live with constant pain. For me this was a very good reminder not only to not become like this, but also to keep my focus off myself and on our Lord, the Almighty God. I know from experience that when I do that, I wind up noticing His blessings more then my pain. And no matter how badly I hurt or feel, or how "unloved" or "unappreciated" I feel, when my focus is on the Lord, I realize that the opposite is really true, for He loves me unconditionally and He appreciates every little thing I do or even try to do and is always encouraging me and helping me. So just as a reminder to myself, I've written "Keep your focus on God, not on yourself or the pain; talk to Him and about Him all the time" and have it displayed where I can always see it.

Once again we're shown that God's ways are the opposite of the world's ways. The world says, think of yourself, demand better for yourself; while God says to think of Him first, then others and to be thankful and grateful for all things, even pain and illness.

Psalm 63:3 —Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. *

Colossians 3:17 —And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. *

Romans 12:12 —Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. *

1 Thessalonians 5:16–18—Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Tips and Tricks to relieve/reduce pain

I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread like this where we can each share different things we've learned that help relieve or reduce our pain even a little. 

I've now tried all the different products during a flare up and the one that works the very best, that I now love and can't live without is:
 



These were MUCH easier to use then the OraMoist! Another difference is that you use two at a time of these instead of just one of the Oramoist; but these stick instantly and they stay stuck whereas the Oramoist didn't. Plus, the best part is that these work the way they say they will and you get almost a full four hours of a nice moist mouth! I was lucky if the other worked for an hour when my flare was at it's worst. Another big difference to me was that the oramoist didn't always totally dissolve and regardless of whether they did or not, they left you with a nasty gooey feeling in your mouth that you literally had to clean out with a cloth or tissue each time you used them as they left a residue in your mouth. (and that residue did not keep your mouth moist) With the Xylimelts however, they dissolve completely and leave your mouth feeling fresh and clean--no yucky residue!

I did have one funny thing happen to me with the Xylimelts last night though. I was having a dream that I was eating dinner and woke up and realized that I had started chewing on the xylimelts dislodging them from my cheeks LOL So, using my finger, I just stuck them back on my cheeks with no problem and went back to sleep laughing at myself. The only thing my chewing had caused was that my mouth was very moist and I had to swallow the extra saliva I'd worked up chewing them I thought about replacing them with new ones instead of putting those back in place, but it was so close to time to get up anyway, that I just went back to sleep. I figure this occurred when I'd had the xylimelts in my mouth for at least 3 hours already and only had about an hour to go on them anyway, which just served to prove again that they lasted as long as advertised. I hope all my experimenting helps someone else besides just me, but I'm sure glad to have finally found something that really helps! Oh, I wasn't able to find this locally so had to order it from Amazon, but it came within three days and wasn't expensive at all!


My biggest trick is still the soap I have to admit. I'm once again keeping a bar in my pants leg as the spasms have started up really bad in my leg again..only now instead of my calf, it's in my thigh. Soap will stop cramps, spasms, and pain!

 Heat helps a lot for osteo or Rheumatoid arthritis pain, and these are especially made for arthritis because they reflect your body heat back into itself and it says too that they kind of massage your hand or whatever area you're using it for. Now I'm always cold, so I wasn't sure it would work for me, but it does. Here's what I mean about those made for arthritis; they have them for knees, ankles, wrists, hands/fingers, elbows, and the lower back too.


 
The Anti-Arthritis Gloves are gloves designed for use by individuals with arthritis or other hand and wrist disabilities. The gloves are designed to help relieve pain while performing everyday tasks. There are lightweight half-finger gloves,and three quarter finger gloves.  They offer gentle controlled compression to ease pain and stiffness of arthritis and carpal tunnel syndrome and control swelling. The stretchable fabric creates therapeutic warmth that increases circulation to the wearers hands fingers and wrists.

 

The Most Comfortable Slipper You’ll Ever Own When your feet are in pain, your whole body hurts! With these fabulous miracle comfort slippers, your feet will be surrounded by unbelievable warmth and soothing magnetic therapy. Includes 4 built-in 800 gauss magnets, believed by many to improve circulation and soothe tired, aching feet. Complete with non skid rubberized panel for safety, as well as built-in ventilation panel to keep feet dry and healthy. Fashion import made of cushy acrylic, comes in men’s (navy) fitting up to men’s size 12 and ladies’ (pink) fitting up to a ladies’ size 9.

 Another little trick I found for my elbow pain due to RA that really helps, especially when I'm typing is to put a little pillow on the arm of my chair. I have a little cross stitch pillow that my daughter Jennifer made me when she was in high school. It says, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee." But it's the perfect size because it's 11 inches long, 8 inches wide, and not even an inch thick. Amazingly it actually stays on the chair arm without any problem too and gives my elbow just enough padding to that it's not killing me

One of the things I've found that helps me with lower back and leg pain is lumbar underwear.  Yeah, lol, I know it sounds funny LOL but they really do help. Don't get me wrong, they aren't a "tremendous" help by any means, but they do help a little and every little bit counts! Here's a picture of what I'm talking about:



Amazingly they're actually pretty comfortable! My workers comp insurance paid for them so I know if you have workers comp they will pay for them. You can get them in a number of places on line--just do a search for lumbar wear. 

 I've also done a number of "little things" to help keep the pain down, such as rearranging my cupboards and even my fridge so that the things I use the most are within easy reach and I don't have to bend to get them. Plus since I'm weakest in the mornings, my husband started a routine of making sure that the gallon of milk wasn't too heavy for me to pick up when I first wake up. At first we just used a small cream pitcher but that didn't hold enough if I wanted to have cereal in the morning as well as coffee lol so he started getting two gallons at a time. He used the first gallon till it was half empty and then left that one for just me and started using the second one. By the time "my" gallon is empty, "his" gallon is about half gone and it's ready for me, so then he goes and buys another gallon for him to start on. It's amazing how much little things like that help!

 I have a list of "things that help when I'm in pain" printed out and taped up where I can always see it. On it are listed these things:

My Pain Toolbox:

Pray, pray, pray!

Study the Bible!

light--turn on all the lights in the house and open all the shades! (it improves your mental/emotional outlook which will help you feel better physically as well)

Praise and worship music--turn it on and turn it up! (same as above)

sing along with the music

move around--(don't just stay in the same position if you're hurting badly, moving around a little can help relieve the pain, even if it's just going into a different room and sitting in a different chair for a few minutes or laying down for a few minutes etc.)

bounce on ball-- (I have a large 65cm exercise ball that my physical therapist asked me to get to help with my core strengthening exercises. I found that even just sitting on it and bouncing gently, improves my mood greatly because I generally start to giggle, LOL and again, if you improve your mental/emotional mood, the physical follows)

smile and laugh! read jokes, look at funny pictures, anything!

shower--(or soak in tub) sometimes a hot shower will help ease the pain

massage (massage from hubby or friend or a massage therapist--I got my workers comp insurance to agree to pay for me to have 2-3 massages a week during my really bad flare ups)

moist heat--you can get things that will do this and just put them in microwave, for me, my physical therapist does it for me

(for other people, ice packs help alot, so I'll add that here for you guys, but they don't help me...)

heating pad

core strengthening and stretching exercises

back brace, knee brace, arthritis gloves etc they all help some!

small footstool under my desk so I can put my feet up

cushion on arm of my chair to cushion my elbow (arthritis) you can see a pic of it here, it's really for use with a mouse but works great for my elbow lol

desk chair -- my desk chair is one of those ergonomical ones that really helps my back alot and is the most comfortable place I can sit in my house! Obviously everyone can't run right out and buy one, but we got mine at Walmart for a pretty cheap price, so if you keep looking, I'm sure you can find one too.

small round pillow in bed that goes between my knees--it helps tremendously, in fact, so much that I'm just shocked! It's the same length as a regular pillow but it's round and very squishy so it's very very comfy!

a blow up pillow for my back that my therapist gave me to use when sitting in a chair and it really helps a whole lot!!!! I can now sit in a regular living room chair or recliner, much longer!

Getting dressed every day. --The temptation for me is to not get dressed every day. Partly because it's such a chore and hassle and it hurts. But I force myself to do it anyway. I generally have to wait for several hours after I wake up, before I can move enough to do it, but then I do get dressed. The reason is simple: I've found that when I get dressed, I feel better about myself. I've found that even though I wear clothes that are comfy, that if I put on clean clothes, that look decent, even though they're comfy; brush my hair, etc. that I feel better about me in general. That in turns translates to feeling just that tiny bit better physically too. Originally when I first started having to force myself to get dressed, I told myself to do it for Bruce. I felt that he at least deserved to have a wife that looked half way decent when he got home from work. I still think that's true too, but over time realized that it was actually helping me both physically and mentally feel better.

Make an effort to socialize/fellowship with others every single day.-- Again, I realize how impossible that can be for many of us. For me, I mostly get this from being here on FH with you guys as I can't really get out much. But again, I've found that talking with others, be it in person or here on the board, helps me to feel better. I think it's because it takes my focus off of myself and puts it on other people, and that's what helps. It also keeps my brain working which is good for me too. Plus, we know that the Lord says that the more we focus on others and try to encourage them or help them, the better off we'll be ourselves, and I found that to be quite true. So the less I feel like talking, the harder I force myself to come and post anyway lol; and it always helps. I think another reason it helps too is because it helps distract me from the pain itself somewhat.

play computer games, read, or something like that to distract yourself from the pain



Next, on my computer desktop I have this written out on a note pad that says "Read when you're in pain"

The Lord has planted me where He wants me,
He has assigned me my portion and my cup. Blessed is the Lord who gives and takes away!
He is my God and in Him will I trust.

Remember: Hang in there, the pain WILL diminish and it WILL go away.... talk to the Lord and wait on Him. Find ways to distract yourself. You do NOT need more pills!!!!

WALK; take a shower; use the PATCHES; pray; praise the Lord with song! Take IBUPROFEN & FLEXERIL; use the heating pad!
hold belly button in!

BREATHING EXERCISES!

Idea: try drinking more WATER....

Remember that on your bad days, the pills really don't help anyway. But the day will pass and tomorrow will come.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christs power may rest on me. That is why, for Christs sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, hardships, persecutions, difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I TOLD you the pills don't help!!!

But if you're going to take them, wait at least an hour and 15 mins in between doses. If 2nd dose doesn't work, wait till it's been at least 4 hours and 15 mins since 1st dose.

Anything not done from faith is sin.

He whispers in our ear, "I love you my child, and I am here with you, lean on me; together we can get through this."  Then He vows that although we may be in sorrow or pain now, that in the end our reward will bring us tremendous joy! Hang on to Him who loves you more than we could ever imagine. Let Him take your burden and carry it for now. Think instead of the day that really will come, probably sooner then we think, when we will stand in His presence and receive our rewards and be continually filled with His joy and love!



One last thing I did: When you live with pain pretty much all sensations associated with your body, are painful and I wanted to change that. I especially had a hard time making myself go to bed at night because I knew that I was going to wake up in tremendous pain, so I avoided it like the plague. (which of course didn't help) So what I've done is turned my bed into the most luxurious place in the world to be! I did it over time of course because it takes money and that's something most of us, including me, don't have much of. I found by accident a blanket that was so luxurious and soft, it just made you want to cuddle up into it. It's made of micro fleece. This material though is softer then cashmere and it's not expensive! So I got the blanket, then eventually got sheets and pillowcases made out of it, and then my favorite style of pj's made out of it! Now when it's bedtime, I look forward to it because I'm in luxury! You won't believe how soft it is, it's just incredible! I also got one of those heated mattress pads from ebay for a great price which is something I can't imagine living without now, especially since we live in New England. Last but not least, I finally found a pretty bedspread so it even looks pretty. So now bedtime is like going to an expensive spa!

Well that's pretty much what's in my toolbox besides my prescription pain meds. But I want to use those as little as possible. I look at all these things like saving pennies, because each of these things alone, may not do a whole lot. A penny by itself may not be worth much, but when they keep piling up, they can add up to quite a bit!

Edited to add: Here's another program that I use every day that's really helped me alot: Smart Diary Suite 4.5 Medical Edition
You can get the free version and if you keep an eye on giveaway of the day, they offer it once in awhile for free!

Do you know someone who lives with chronic pain or illness?

Do you know someone who lives with chronic pain or illness?

 I recently read a really great book called "She'll never make it through the night - an extraordinary story of faith, hope, and the power of prayer", By D Hedegard. Inside it says:

Even at times when the Holy Ghost is moving and miracles are happening, godly men are not immune from sickness. We serve a God who heals. But we also serve a God who—as Elisha experienced, as Hezekiah experienced, as Paul makes reference to—sometimes uses sickness for his glory.

This book was both heartbreaking and heartwarming and most surely an inspiration and challenge to all who read it. I heartily recommend it. But now I'm reading another very good, challenging and inspirational book called, "Wednesdays were pretty normal: A boy, cancer, and god." By M. Kelley, which I'd also recommend.

But they're not really what this post is all about. They just gave me the idea. Both authors show how their lives change and as I was just reading about how people you're close to seem to drift away after awhile, I realized that I wanted to talk to you guys about that. All of the members here in the pain forum have experienced that very same thing when they became sick or disabled. People they were close to for years either slowly or suddenly, just stopped calling or coming by, and no longer responded to messages. I experienced it as well.

Usually when we go through that, we're pretty new to the whole disabled; pain; illness thing ourselves and don't know what to expect or what's going to happen to us. No one warns us that our friends won't be our friends for long, so we have that hurt to bear on top of our pain and illness. The stories I've heard about this are heartbreaking to say the least.

As this author and others point out though, it's not necessarily the "friends" fault. Most folks simply don't know how to deal with or relate to people who are in constant pain, ill, and disabled. Especially not when that person is someone they knew as an active, healthy, go getter. And believe it or not, statistics show that most of us who are now disabled were very active people before the accident and/or disease put a stop to it.

As I'm sure you're aware, we have a private forum here for those who live with pain. It's our hideaway, where we can talk without having to be concerned about whether or not others will understand, or whether or not what we say will frighten someone or make them uncomfortable. Out here, on the main board, we may say something like, we have a doctors appointment, or a check up etc. In there though we can talk about the appointment - why we're going, how bad the pain is now, our fears, our hopes, whether the doctor is good or not, what we like and what we don't.

I've always felt torn about it being a private forum though. We need the privacy in some ways, but in other ways, we need it to be out in the open, because more then anything else, we need other people, people who still have what we call, "normal" lives, to understand us. But when we do talk about it a little out in the open, we can tell that many people are just plain uncomfortable with it. We don't blame them for that. We were the same way ourselves once. After all, what do you say to someone that's in constant pain every single day???? How do you deal with it?

So tonight I thought, well, why not try and explain to other people what we'd like them to understand? That it's OK to be uncomfortable, but don't try to hide it - say so! Tell us you don't know what to say, because that way we can reply and share our hearts with you.

There are many very good articles written by people like me who live with pain about what life is like for us. If you know anyone online who lives with chronic pain or illness, then you most likely have heard an expression about "the spoon theory" or "spoonies". It's a way a lady made up to explain to a friend what her life was like now, and it resonates with all of us.

To put it simply, she explained that it's as though every person with chronic pain or illness is given 5 spoons at the start of each new day, and they must get through the entire day using only those spoons because they can't get anymore. Everything we do though can cost us a spoon. It depends on how our body is reacting that day, and how well we slept that night. So, on a good day, if we get out of bed and get dressed, that costs us 1 spoon, so now we only have 4 left for the entire day. But, on a bad day, just getting out of bed may use up one of our spoons, and getting dressed a second one, leaving us with only 3 left for the rest of the day. And so it goes through the whole day for us. What we used to do without even thinking about it, we now have to think about and decide if it's worth doing or not and if it is, then how many spoons will we lose doing it? If you've never read it, I really hope you will because it will really help you understand what people like us deal with on a day to day basis.

You can read the story here in English and they also have it translated into Spanish, French and Hebrew. The link for those is at the end.
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wp...-spoon-theory/

Another good article is called Understanding Chronic Pain
An open letter to anyone who has a chronic pain patient in his or her life. and can be read here:
http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic...-287065-5.html

Finally, there's one that many have already read here:
The Challenge Of Living With Chronic Pain

Please know though that the most important thing to us is that you understand that we're not looking for sympathy or pity. What we want more then anything in the world, is simply that you understand us, and the only way that can happen is if you're willing to talk about it with us Yes, it will be uncomfortable at first. Believe it or not, it's uncomfortable for us too. We don't want to scare you or upset you so we're unsure of just how much to say, what parts we should talk about and what parts we shouldn't, etc. So you see, we have fears too.

Mostly, we just want you to love us and accept us just the way we are, for who we are now. This whole dialog thing may scare some of us even more then it scares you. That's why the author of the book I told you about said it wasn't always totally the other persons fault when they stopped calling. Sometimes we're the ones to clam up. If we do, just reassure us that it's ok, you're still going to love us. Don't worry if we cry. Just hand us a tissue or three or four .

Most of us with chronic conditions, spend our time around other people both online and in "real life", trying to pretend to the best of our ability, without actually lying, that we're normal and have normal daily lives. That's why we have the private forum here on FH, so that the masks can come off and we can be real for a little while. We don't want to be different. So for us, we're learning to accept our lives the way they are and deal with things the way they are now.

Often, one of the hardest lessons for us to learn, is to accept help from others and even harder is to actually ask for that help. Most of us are used to being the ones that helped others and we don't like being on the other end of the stick. Even after almost 14 years, this is still very hard for me.

Even if you don't know anyone that's living with chronic pain or illness, I still hope you'll read those articles, because sooner or later you'll meet someone like that and then at least you'll be a bit ahead of the game.

If you do know someone who deals with chronic pain or illness, then please, tell them you want to understand what they're dealing with every day. Tell them you're aware that it might be awkward at first for both of you, but that the Lord told us to bear each others burdens and you can't do that if you don't know what the burden really is. Make a deal with them that when the conversation starts to get to heavy, or overwhelm either of you, that you both will agree to simply say so and end the talk until the next time you're together. And be sure to set a date when you can be together again soon!

Don't be afraid to tell us if we start to get to technical too. Because of our condition, many of us have done a great deal of research and learned all we can about our condition, so we can get carried away and forget that you may not be familiar with a lot of the terms that are now second nature to us. And don't feel badly for not knowing those terms, because we didn't know them either until we had to learn them out of self defense.

Promise each other that you'll both be honest about your feelings each day and that you won't try to hide the truth from each other or even yourselves. Hold each other accountable, pray with each other and always invite the Lord into your conversations. I know that helping each other and protecting your friendship this way will please the Lord too, for He tells us that what we do for each other, we do for Him as well.

I can promise you one other thing as well. The awkwardness you may feel at first when you begin discussing this with each other, will quickly pass. Not only will it pass, but no matter how close you were before, you will find you're even closer to each other now. Finally, please realize that this "conversation" won't continue forever. Once you have a good understanding of what your friend is really going through every day, then it won't be needed anymore. At that point you'll find that you both now have a real friend that you can talk to about absolutely anything. One you can laugh with and cry with, without being uncomfortable.

May God bless those who are willing to stretch themselves beyond their comfort zone for the sake of a friend in pain.

PS: There is something you could easily do to help many of us when you post on line. Many of us also have trouble with our eye sight. So it helps a great deal when people make their posts bold. We can make the text larger on our computers ourselves (those of us who have figured out how to do that) but we can't make it darker. So if you're interested in helping us out, that would be one quick and easy way you could do so.